Consciousness

How to deal with rejection- and become immune to criticism

We have all experienced the pain of rejection and criticism in some form throughout our lives.

A critical comment from a co-worker, teacher, at school, being let go or fired, going through a breakup, divorce, or being excluded from the family or group of friends. Receiving a no from a client.

Rejection hurts.

These situations prey on our insecurities and make us feel like we are not good enough, viewing rejection as an indication of self-worth.

Most of us were not raised with high self-esteem and the skills to deal with rejection. Things happen to all of us at school and in life.

When we get rejected, it is possible that old pain triggers, and that is often causing feelings of jealousy, abandonment, isolation, and anxiety. 

To build up strong self-esteem and confidence is to become immune to criticism.

To overcome the fear of rejection, it’s important to understand it. 

We are all born with an instinct to survive; we do this by finding a connection with each other and avoiding rejection. We are scared of being rejected, hurt, and not being accepted as we are.

“Our brain is wired to the negative, to self-preserve, and protect us from hurt.” - Marisa Peer

This is why we tend to remember and focus on the things that went wrong, sometimes even if things are going great, as we have desired.

Have you ever had a really good day, but at the end of it, you suddenly remember old painful memories of failures or what someone has commented about your work, your looks, opinions, or who you are? 

I have worked with many successful, high-achieving women and men; even the most successful people struggle to deal with rejection and criticism. 

Why? We all crave acceptance, belonging and connection with each other; that’s the basis of human needs.

Also, we are all born without the fear of rejection, knowing that we are loved, accepted, and good enough- deserving of the very best. 

The fear of rejection and learned beliefs often come from childhood. These fears can be limiting your life and your success if they are not addressed.

This can keep even highly successful people playing small, sabotaging themselves, diminishing their needs and feelings, and working too much and too hard as they lack boundaries and awareness.

Fear or rejection can limit people to have positions, uplevel and increase their income responding. 

Often a rejection can trigger inner unconscious fear so strong that they feel stuck and unable to get over it, but start sabotaging themselves.

People raised by critical caretakers are afraid of conflicts, speaking up, and expressing themselves and their needs in calm, confident manners. Often they hold a lot of anger and resentment inside them as if they feel they were never seen and accepted as they were as a child.

They learned to respond to criticism by constantly trying to improve and demand more and more of themselves. Also, they learned to get the attention the children need and crave in negative ways as they need to get it some way and have no capabilities to understand or express their needs better. 

This wiring can still be active in their adulthood if it’s not consciously treated. It can be that the children of critical, judgmental, and demanding parents have become highly critical adults, often dealing with anger issues.

What’s important to understand is that critical people has the most criticism and judgment reserved for themselves. So often when an overly critical colleague, boss, friend, or family member throws out a mean comment about you, it is really a displacement for their own insecurities. 

Understanding this gives you the most liberating power to deal with rejection. 

How to boost self-esteem

The greatest starting point to boosting your self-esteem is to know that you are enough and worthy of your real desires. 

Once your mind shifts to this new perspective, you gain control back of your thoughts, take control of your mindset, and overcome the fear of rejection. 

It does not matter what other people think of you, only what you think of yourself. 

Knowing that you are empowered to control what you accept into your consciousness, allows you growth and the opportunity to become immune. Confidence is a skill that you can train.

Self-praise and self-validation will manifest your thoughts and emotions into strong, positive intentional behaviors.

This is why I praise daily clarity practice and reflecting on our days, feelings and events at the end of the day. You can read more of it here and download my free daily planner here to start doing this wonderful practice. 

How to become immune to rejection

You have the power to become immune to criticism- you always have a choice with rejection. 

  1. The only person who has the real power to reject you is you. You always have the power to change and choose what you think and how you feel, and there is nothing more powerful than that.

  2. Be mindful of the way you talk to yourself. Remind yourself of all of the positive things and people in your life or what you have to be grateful for.

  3. Don’t accept rejection by saying, “I will not let this in.” When you don’t accept rejection, you are not giving your power away for others or to any situation.

  4. Turn your obstacles to wins. Getting rejected can build resilience, help you grow and when you take the lessons you won’t be bothered to react personally to rejection or criticism in the future.

  5. When you educate yourself and learn more about your reactions and patterns, you begin to understand why you feel the way you do, and see your underlying reasons behind the obvious and release them.

  6. Rejection is often misunderstood. Our interpretation of any life events and other people’s comments is based on the stories we tell ourselves and the beliefs we have formed in childhood. This is defining how and why you respond to rejection and criticism the way you do. 

I hope you found this article helpful. How have you got over the fear of rejection or criticism? Leave a comment below!

If you have been rejected and the fear of rejection or confrontation is greater than your own abilities to overcome it, I work with business women helping them to strengthen their inner powers, have high confidence and self-esteem, so that they can expand and be able to take their lives, careers and income to the next level. You can book a free consultation call here to chat about your situation.


This post is inspired by my mentor and hypnotherapy teacher Marisa Peer. Image by Hannah Busing, Unsplash.

Make your mind work for you- turn off the autopilot and stop working harder

Does it feel like no matter how hard you work or how much effort you put in it feels like a force that you have no control over is keeping you stuck, repeating the same old- staying stuck?

This is happening when your conditioning and subconscious mind simply don’t support your aims and desires. This is the real root cause for the reason why most people stop making their big visions and goals real. It can feel impossible...

Here’s a thing.

Your conscious mind is engaged in creative imagination, which controls your wishes and desires. Yes, your brain is the mini-universe that commands your wishes, invites in what you want. So it’s good to be consciously aware of what you want to invite in.

The conscious mind is run and ruled by your subconscious mind; your autopilot.

Have you ever read a self-help book, attended a class, or watched a video where you got so excited about all the new information and felt inspired to take action to improve your life? 

Your mind starts to explode positivity with all the new ideas and how you are going to put the theory into practice. Yet after a few days, months, and even years- you are still in the same.

Your life remains the same because it was your conscious mind that picked up the information and enhanced your awareness, but the message - your desires - didn’t engage with your subconscious programming that has other, much more powerful ideas; the beliefs you have formed earlier in your life. 

So when you are struggling with the same patterns, feeling stuck and are unable to make the changes that you crave so badly but you have no control over… It’s happening because of the way your mind has been “programmed” to believe by your earlier life experiences. 

This happens in early childhood by observing other people of which your life then becomes an expression of their behavior, their words, their beliefs that they have often learned from their caretakers.  

When I work with the clients in hypnosis quite amazing things occur and it shows how fast, how powerful and how precisely the mind is working and connecting with the body. It’s like a computer, only smarter than that.

These are the three most common beliefs that pretty much cover all the personal variations.

  • You can’t do the changes to have what you want… 

  • It doesn’t belong to you… 

  • There is something wrong with you... 

The most common belief my clients have is that “I’m not good enough and therefore I don’t deserve to have and do what I really want.”

The mind is only trying to keep you safe in the familiar and protect you from taking any “risks” dive into the unknown. The fear is keeping you stuck if you are not sure what are your big visions and what is that what you really want. Another issue can be that you can’t split them into doable daily tasks.

Or you have a subconscious block that is being triggered every time you try to move forward.

Your life is not controlled by the conscious mind but rather by the subconscious mind.

Even before you logically knew what you wanted and desired, your subconscious had already been programmed and habits had already been formed.

So how do you know what your programs are?

By doing the inner work and start removing and healing the old blocks and patterns. That helps you dive into the path of self-knowledge, self-acceptance and you will get the answers that offer you clarity and the freedom to be you, fulfill your real potential and make your wildest visions real.

95% of our life comes as a printout of our subconscious programming. 

Your life, your reality now is an expression of your mental programming; your thoughts and feelings that activate the beliefs related to anything in life. 

The things that have come into our lives easily are there because there is the right kind of empowering beliefs & stories related to them.

For example; I have a great belief that I always find special and amazing apartments and homes and I manifest them confidently.

This is something I created through trial and error, accidental manifestation. When I bought my first apartment I couldn’t find anything good in the price range. Time was an issue and I needed a new home. One night I scribbled a detailed list of features on my notebook and forgot it.

A year later I found the notebook and tears came to my eyes as I was living exactly in the apartment I had described, it was modern, penthouse, full of light. The path there was not that simple but all that effort I put into renovation was worth it.

I have personally had to work to improve all areas of my life by unblocking the subconscious that has hold me back in relationships, with my business, health, habits, and wellbeing.

What becomes available as you rewrite the beliefs and embody deeply your authentic, conscious desires and goals?

When you become aware of your thoughts, and feelings and learn how to connect this all with your mind, it becomes easy and really powerful. I teach all this in my Conscious Creator program (part of Embody Your Real Power membership)

  • You are able to re-align your habits of thinking, feeling, and behaving so that you can take the right kind of action. 

  • You open yourself up to receiving and feeling how you want and a new level of self-worth emerges as you know that what you want is available for you.  

  • You are to do what you truly want without having that much resistance, struggle and fear that is again, only trying to keep you “safe” from the unknown. Our mind LOVES to keep us familiar in quite unbelievable ways, often affecting what happens in the body.

how to reprogram your subconscious mind & reinforce new beliefs: 

  1. Become aware of what is the pattern you want to change and what you want to manifest, achieve or have. What are the negative beliefs you have running in your mind related to it? Write them all down.

  2. Do a meditation, go deep in relaxation, and start looking back in your life. What are the memories related to these beliefs? What happened? From who did you learn these beliefs? Heal the situation like you wanted and needed it to go. Let go and forgive. This is pretty much a self-hypnosis.

  3. Visualize the change in your mind. Journal about it. Feel how it feels when you have it. This is how you manifest new into your life. Just before you go to sleep and when you wake up, your mind is in a perfectly calm state.

  4. Connect with your vision and repeat every night or morning.

  5. To replace the old subconscious beliefs you need to rewrite them with the new beliefs. Spend 5- 10 minutes every day on each belief that you have and write a new self-empowering belief.

Your mind learns by repetition so this requires consistency, reinforcement, and repetition. The memories, powerful events or sometimes just little things (I know this from my hypnotherapy practice) from the past created the blocks and patterns so that’s why it’s necessary to heal the beliefs and limitations of the younger version of you. It can be a big trauma or just someone saying something that hits you in the wrong way.

In deep meditation or hypnotic state, you can access the root causes of emotional and mental patterns, behavior and the beliefs that are holding you back now and change them quickly.

Implement these methods into your daily routine, turn off the autopilot, and take back control to achieve your authentic goals and desires.

If you want and need help to break through the plateau, the blocks that are holding you back from your next level of success and happiness, I can help. In my practice, I combine hypnosis, subconscious energy healing work, psychology, mindfulness, high-performance habits, and transformational coaching.

If working harder is not an option for you… work with entrepreneurs, business leaders, and people who are ready to break the plateau and make the impossible possible. Start booking a complimentary Clarity call with here.

So now… I’d love to hear about your visions and how have you made them real! Were you able to recognize the tiny but mighty mindset shift that happened for you so you made it real with grace and ease?

Love Jenni x

Feel like you need to fight, take a flight or freeze?

Working from home, taking care of the kids, household, home-schooling and being forced to stay inside with your loved ones who are trying to do the same IS chaotic and overwhelming.

Finding time for yourself, your work, self-care and handling all your responsibilities can be extremely difficult now. Even if you don't have kids.

Worries, fears and anxieties can take over. You might feel so drained and unmotivated.

You might feel that you need to fight or take a flight. Or freeze. 

It's okay to have all those feelings and feel exhausted.

We've been locked down for almost 4 full weeks now in Spain, so I can relate.

The first thing to do to change these feelings is:

Give yourself permission to feel those feelings and then, forgive yourself for having them. Accept where you are, right now. 

Also please, please, know that you are doing a lot (more than you know) and going through a lot.

I know work can be as demanding as it was before. If you have a family it can be that your bosses are not understanding your situation at home with the kids and that it's impossible to respond to those demands like before. 

I know how it works, I had over 13 years in the corporate world.

It could be that your business is under thread and you simply can't work right now.

I get that too! As an entrepreneur, I needed to sit down to create new offerings, strategy, and plans. After I dug myself out of the darkness I momentarily dropped, I created new ideas that I'm working on now and… they are actually super fun and I have no reason to avoid doing them anymore (you will see this in social media and my emails)!

I realized I thrive in challenging situations.

I've gone through so many drastic shift storms, so I know deep down in my gut that the obstacles are the way (you maybe want to check out the book by Ryan Holiday, it's quite fantastic) — I will always get up and get back on track, even when being a bit wounded

Like you too! You have gone through so many obstacles in your life that now it's time to remind yourself of the hardest ones!    

But it also means that I also need to calm, change my thoughts and re-connect with myself with breathing consciously multiple times a day by using the Clarity tools and habits to relieve the overwhelm daily! 

I am empowering myself to trust I will make my visions true while I have to prioritize how to use the very limited time I have for working, and self-care as I'm balancing all this with my husband, cooking, and child care. 

Instead of letting your inner stories overwhelm you and believe everything is falling apart, you can take responsibility for how you feel, what's happening around you and help yourself feel energized. 

Now it's not time to push yourself to do more but stop to see where you are and focus on self-care. 

That will make a HUGE difference in how you feel right now and release the anxiety, worries and overwhelm.  

Like my mentor Marisa Peer says:

You are in control and you can control your thoughts that are creating your feelings. 

That doesn’t mean to stop doing things but focusing on your needs; self-care, healthy, productive habits and using the tools that are helping you to create a structure for your days. So that you get things done more efficiently is helpful right now.

Looking into how you do things and helping yourself feel better, will give you more time and energy. 

To help you in this situation I have put together a list below of the resources to relieve the unwanted feelings and help you feel, calm and focused in this crisis - while trusting in your own abilities to get through this with high confidence.

Little action makes a huge difference and releases the negative energy from the body.  

Anytime when you hopeless, please remind yourself that this will pass!

We can get through almost anything just knowing that it doesn't last forever.

Get the free mini-course self-empowering tools and methods that will not only help you navigate through this feeling calm, focused and connected but create structure, healthy habits, self-care routines that you will benefit from forever!

Much love and courage,

Jenni

 

How to manifest anything you want in your life

How to manifest anything you want in your life

Use the power of intentions to get anything that you have ever wanted. By practicing this technique you will be able to shift your feelings and thoughts quickly and consciously so that you can create the days, weeks and the life that you want.

I had a mini-meltdown and I’m not proud of how I dealt with it

I had a mini-meltdown and I’m not proud of how I dealt with it

I had a mini-meltdown a week before the holidays and I’m not proud of how I dealt with it. 

Change your emotional habits and get over stressful times like a honey badger

This week has been one of those weeks.

Our internet cable literally broke down, the dryer must be fixed, and we have a roof construction going on in the house. The cleaning lady rescheduled. My little one started with a part-time nanny and I'm dealing with separation anxiety, probably more than the baby.

All the scheduling and rescheduling take time and so much energy!

People are coming in and out of the house all the time.

Men are climbing ladders outside my windows, looking in when I'm breastfeeding the baby in the living room or working in my office.

There is no privacy for the person who needs a lot of if and alone time to digest the world around me.

All this could drive me nuts. But, I'm not allowing it to happen.

I have seen this so, so many times and it’s time to take a different, healthier and happier route.

If I would let my emotions take the lead and start stressing, I give my power away and it all goes worse and it will take longer to get over it.

Eventually, I would burst the pressure to someone else, like we often do if we are not able to connect and feel our feelings, and that’s not right either.

Instead of losing my nerve and wasting my energy I observe and choose to respond and react to stressful emotions and chaos calmly with high self-awareness.

Our emotional reactions are learned habits.

We learn all the habits by repetition and by watching others. The way to change our habits is to turn inward and start making a difference. It’s very delicate but the impact in our life is huge: it’s the way to change your life and create new, better paths.

So I breathe, and consciously release the emotions of overwhelm and focus on getting through the week positively, taking care of things one by one and staying present in the moment.

I remind myself to stay centered and grounded like a honey badger. Honey badgers don’t care but focus on essentials, on what they want.

(If you haven't seen the narrated viral video about the crazy nastyass honey badgers, it's super funny. It tells something about my sense of humor. )

Also, laughing reduces the cortisol hormones in the body and calms down the sympathetic nervous system. Watch something funny or shake your ass when life gets too serious or you find it hard to calm down to meditate on it. Like kids in general, our inner child loves when we let loose and get playful.

It would be impossible for me to go through this week without other people’s help.

I appreciate the abundant amount of help. I appreciate help is available. All these people help our family enormously with their knowledge.

For a long time, it was really hard for me to ask for help from others.

I've always had this mentality of a super strong, over-functioning, independent Finnish woman who doesn't need anyone's help.

My old self was a kind of woman who can build her own house by herself if needed.

This is what one construction guy said to me years ago when he renovated my apartment in Helsinki after I showed him how the kitchen needed to be built. I wondered why I paid him as I could have done it myself.

I still remember how I felt inside that time.

After ending a 7-year relationship I felt completely lost, and my brain was scattered due to insomnia and the anxiety I suffered. I had no idea what I should do next in my life, so I tried to over-control everything I could and operated completely from my masculine side. I didn’t allowing myself to stop as I was so afraid of what I would need to face.

I was almost collapsing then but I pushed through. I managed to keep it together until I collapsed a year later.

It was then when I realized that I can't, and don't need to, try to survive on my own and do everything by myself.

I realized there are people who were actually able and willing to help me.

Little by little I started asking for more help in different areas of life.

Today it’s much easier for me as I’ve learned to ask for help and I know when I need to invest in myself and when my own resources are not enough. The most important thing is that I’ve learned to receive help.

As I’ve changed my behavior, I have noticed there’s abundance amount of helpful and kind people around me. All we need to do is to be open, reach out and ask for help.

Help is always showing up in a form or another. Sometimes it shows up as a person, in the form of group or company, a program, a book or online resource, or just a message that is pointing to the new direction.

Sometimes it asks courage to get over my fears to receive it and give myself an opportunity for growth and expansion. May it be personal health and wellbeing, family issue or my work and business.

Our level of self-worth measures the ability of receiving.

I believe we can learn to do pretty much anything successfully if we just put our energy and efforts in. I could still do all kind of things by myself but nowadays, if it’s not my cup of tea, I don’t want to.

I don’t need to know everything or do everything by myself, anymore.

It’s much easier to have set boundaries and focus on what we are best at and absolutely love to do. Let other people do use their expertise.

The most difficult part to getting over stressful emotions and moments is to learn to step out of your own resistant ego-mind and give yourself a permission to feel happy and good about yourself.

That can only happen when you are present and mindful about your thoughts, your feelings and the chatter of your ego-mind.

You have the power to change your reality and rise your energy by changing your emotional habits:

  • Watch and observe your emotional reactions and responses.

  • Get out from your own way and emotions.

  • Make changes consciously.

  • Choose to behave differently.

  • Repeat and learn.

Don’t worry if you don’t get it right immediately but be determined. Life will give you as many rounds of practice as needed, until you have changed the old pattern.

Help is available when life feels complicated and it's hard to see clearly what to do and where to go next.

Or your internet cable needs fixing.

What is the area of life that you could use some help with?

Much love,

Jenni

My journey to emotional freedom

Like most parents, I want my daughter to have a wonderful, happy childhood and to be the best mama I can be for her. 

In my last blog I shared how becoming a mother drove me to the next level of spiritual growth and awareness.

I’ve recently discovered cultural and ancestral patterns that have been running in my family for generations. That means I’ve worked with old wounds that crawled up from my subconscious along with motherhood. Yes, I'm diving into the depths of self-healing.

I’m highly motivated to do this work because I don’t want to pass my old stories and limiting beliefs on to my daughter. I want better for her, and when I do the work everyone, both me and my family, will benefit from it greatly. 

Already before her birth, I knew what I want to teach my child about life.

  • I want her to learn she’s good enough and capable of achieving whatever she decides to do in her life.

  • I want her to know it’s okay to make mistakes; challenges can be overcome and embraced as important milestones of growth.

  • I want her to learn how to feel her feelings so she can be her authentic self and express herself easily.

It’s important for me to show her that these skills are the greatest drivers of creating a happy and meaningful life.

It’s all what I didn’t learn until later in my adulthood when I started my own journey of growth and consciously creating the life I want to live.

I am also (almost painfully) aware my daughter will have her own life lessons she needs to learn and I cannot protect her or smooth the way for her completely, no matter how much I may want to.

But I can do my share and consciously change the conditioning that is not serving her or me.

As I have chosen to do this work, I get to learn and release these patterns in everyday life.

My first Mother’s Day was quite an emotional one.

There were expanded feelings of happiness and joy when I got to spend the day with my little family, who pampered me so sweetly.  

There were also sudden feelings of self-doubt and anxiety, that I had not been able to recognize before. 

Instead of ignoring these intense feelings, I stopped to bring awareness to them and to find out what kind of stories lie behind these feelings.

I worried whether I can ever be a good enough mama to her as I feel flawed, vulnerable, and imperfect. 

These uncomfortable feelings revealed a huge insight for me:

I realized that if I don’t let my daughter see me as I am — and able to receive her love fully — I would be abandoning her emotionally and rejecting her love.

Then I as a parent would repeat exactly what I was unconsciously taught in my childhood: love needs to be earned and if I just give, give, give and be a perfect, good girl, then I’d be lovable.

It was a huge breakthrough for me to finally find the root cause for the fear of abandonment and the lack of sense of belonging. Both these have caused me all kinds of struggle, disease, relationship issues and fears. 

It took a while for me to understand how I had not been able to, and how difficult it was for me to fully receive love.

After realizing all this and changing my limiting beliefs, stories and patterns — and the energies related to them — I soon felt lighter and confidently rooted within my own being.

Now when I bond with my little girl I feel at ease. Looking at her loving eyes doesn’t make me hesitate any more. I started feeling deeper connection not only with her but with my husband, my parents and family - and especially with myself.

Self-acceptance and the ability to receive love are the foundations of deep and intimate relationships with ourselves and others.

By being our authentic selves and showing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, our kids, and we as adults can learn to accept ourselves and understand we are good enough and lovable as we are. It’s never too late to start making these changes. 

When we choose to take responsibility and do the inner work it shifts our energy, helps to heal relationships and allows us to become free to do and be our authentic selves.

And that’s powerful and something many people are craving for, because when these old stories and conditioning are changed, you can change your habits; get healthy; release physical conditioning, limiting fears and blockages that prevent you from creating a happy, fulfilling life that looks and feels like you.

When we face any kind of difficulties with others one of the greatest questions we can ask ourselves is:

How am I creating this? 

I know it's not easy to take responsibility when it feels like everyone else is creating the issues or like life is resisting your aims. It takes some courage to ask this question of yourself and be willing to recognize and face the truth behind it.

But if you dare to take the path to growth and listen carefully, you will get insightful answers and your own wisdom and guidance will help move you forward. 

Changing ourselves is the only way to affect and change others. I’ve seen this happening in my own life and my clients' lives over and over again. 

Your happiness and wellbeing depends on you. You are not your limited by how or where you grew up or what others do.

Your life is your creation and in the same way you have created it so far, you can make changes and redesign it consciously. You only need to make the choice and get started.

Much love, Jenni

P.S. If you like this blog, head HERE to order my newsletter it was originally shared with my readers. When you subscribe you will get free resources, inspiration, guidance and much more.

RELATED BLOG: Are you repeating your parent's mistakes or your old family patterns?

Are you waiting for the right time and things be perfect?

Hello!

It’s been a while since I sat down to write to you. Having baby Stella at the end of December started a completely new phase of life, and a life-long duty, called motherhood. I have loved being with the little one and having a family has changed my life in so many good ways.

Baby is now on her long afternoon nap and the house is quite a mess. My mind reminded me there are tons of “better” things to do than sit down to write to you, which I have tried to finish I don’t know how many times.

Before her birth I planned to take a few months off from working with clients and enjoy this precious time and possibility to be with her, while writing and taking care of the other side of my business aside. I have this urge to create and contribute and I’m used to work a lot -- it’s simply part of my nature and I love what I do.

It’s been a challenge to combine these two desires.

The last months have been transformational: basically all areas of life have demanded adjustments and inner work, while going through a massive personal upgrade and identity change that motherhood often puts us through.

I’m lucky I had a chance to stay at home and take time to be with the baby, heal after the birth and take my time to adjust for the first couple of months. (It should be a birthright for the new moms and their babies.)

After things got a little steadier and I had more time, it started weighing on me why I didn’t take time for myself and do what’s important to me.

I had crafted a solid, easygoing plan on how to get started again. Baby is sleeping on schedule, so I pretty much know when and how much time I have. My husband is happy to be with the baby after work and on the weekends.

I ran out of excuses, so I stopped to see what was going on.

  • I was comparing myself to others… when I looked at other people with newborn children in social media I thought what’s wrong with me. They seemed to have everything in order and were living a picture-perfect life, there were no signs of greasy hair or old yoga pants.  

  • Continuous distractions got me off track... When I got back to it this highly critical inner voice said what I’d created is not good enough, so I started writing something else and then ended up not finishing anything.

  • I waited for a better time... when this chaos and overwhelm would pass; baby getting through growth spurts; learning to eat from the bottle; when I have a babysitter and so forth…  

I didn’t give myself permission to start until everything would be perfect.

I have a lot to share about this so called “mom guilt” that hit me, the need to be perfect, irreplaceable, micromanage and do something all the time, mainly to show myself that I'm a good enough mother, and not abandoning my child if I take some time for myself.

I realized there will always be something going on and life with kids is overwhelming and chaotic, but also fun and happy.

So I decided…

… to stop letting these learned ideals, patterns and my inner stories control me.

… to stop cleaning the house out of the “mom habit” when the baby sleeps.

… 15 minutes is a long time and I work when I can. When I can’t, I relax.

… it’s finally time to let go of perfectionism. I simply don’t have time for it anymore.

I gave myself a permission to do things I want to do and adjust it all to this new life.

If we are not trying and doing what calls us, we never know what’s possible.

If we let fear-based stories lead life or if we constantly compare ourselves to others it certainly destroys creativity and courage and we never dare to put ourselves out there.

It doesn’t matter at what stage of life you are or what you want to do. May it related to your career, relationships, your personal goals or big dreams. You got to start from somewhere.

Are you waiting until things are perfect? To get started, ask yourself:

  • What are your excuses or stories that you tell yourself?

  • Are you sure they are true?

  • If you took action now, how would it make you feel?

To make this blog happen I sought advice from my blog on how to boost productivity by using this brilliant method that helps you remove distractions and resistance, and get things done fast when time is limited. Read it here

Let me know in the comments below if this resonates.

Love, Jenni

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