Just before holidays our babysitter got some sudden health issues and my husband was away, so I had to cancel most of my calls.
For the calls I could take, I was taking them with my little, curious assistant sitting on my lap. We even went to the hairdressers together, which went surprisingly well!
But all these sudden changes meant that I had to work late evenings and had to shorten my already short nights which was obviously not good.
And of course, there was a lot to do for the holidays and travel plans…but it was simply impossible.
I didn’t have a minute for myself and it all ached hard inside and in my body.
I felt so stressed out, overwhelmed and chaotic.
I acted like a brave warrior and silently pushed my own needs, self-care practices, and any uncomfortable feelings away - as if I didn’t have the right to have them!
I should have stopped to prioritize my own needs but busyness had taken over.
At the end of the week, my cup completely overflowed and I left a sobbing voice message to my husband, Joonas. By allowing myself to feel and express my feelings was such a relief!
Later that day we went out for a playdate. I had a good chat with a friend who confirmed again that I was not alone with my feelings. Too often we think that we are the only ones struggling and having negative feelings.
It helped me release my stress and shift my energy to positive and bring compassion and clarity on my feelings.
I then realized something huge.
I had been smiling through my frustration to Stella trying to show her that I'm okay while hiding my real feelings; stress, anger and overwhelm that the situation caused.
It is the last thing I want to teach her.
Hiding emotions confuses children as they learn that expressing and having negative feelings is not okay.
I was only trying so hard to protect her from feeling unsafe or scared by showing up as a super mom who can handle anything but I was simply doing more harm as I know that she can see right through me.
That's how children are - they can sense the energies and can see straight through when people are being dishonest. They are observing us all the time.
Then they learn that adults cannot be trusted, they don’t feel safe, well-protected, or good enough as they somehow come to the conclusion that it’s about them or it’s their fault how others feel.
Children try to help the adults with their own feelings, putting their own needs aside and picking up the negative patterns they see and start behaving how they think they should to feel loved and accepted.
That’s how harmful, false beliefs are born.
Sometimes trauma is born just like that, without a huge tragedy.
By knowing this is why I had tried to be extra careful with my daughter and keep her safe, while I consciously know that I cannot protect her fully from obstacles that are a natural part of life.
no matter our past or how we have grown up We can do a lot to grow our children be consciously aware - like they are born.
Children need adults to explain why they are acting in certain ways and why negative emotions shouldn’t be pushed away as to feel and express them is the only way to release them safely.
I do a lot of work with my grown-up clients helping them to learn how, and why, it’s crucial for their wellbeing, physical and mental health, wealth, happiness and success to feel their feelings and let go of the traumatic events that have kept them blocked sometimes for multiple decades.
Often, for so long they have created physical issues that pretend to protect them (this is what their minds and bodies say under hypnosis).
They are feeling disconnected from their authentic selves, unable to make their desires real, lacking confidence, struggling with fears and not knowing what they want and deserve.
If this scenario sounds familiar, here’s what I know: It all links back to our past experiences, self-worth, self-acceptance, and “enoughness”.
It’s amazing to witness how inner work can help someone heal emotional blockages and physical issues in a very short time.
For example, 20 years of depression vanes, energy levels rise, migraine, insomnia, motion sickness, addictions, physical pain, fears, cysts, thyroid disease, confidence issues, fears, anxiety, respiratory illnesses stop, bad habits and “stuckness.”
People often think they have to struggle for the rest of their lives.
When you are becoming aware and healing the root causes of the emotional blockages you can also release the physical issues in the body.
Clearing emotional blockages is helping you becoming free and stopping you to pass your learned patterns to your children!
Helping ourselves helps our kids grow up as happy, healthy and mindful beings and have happy healthy lives.
And by the way… it’s okay to have meltdown days!
We need these kinds of days sometimes. When we surrender to any obstacles and accept them then the healing can actually start happening and we get clarity for the next steps.
I’m curious to know are you aware and able to feel and express your feelings?
Much love,
Jenni
If you are ready to stop dealing with something you cannot put your finger, feel stuck with and can’t make the changes you desire - you can BOOK your free consultation call HERE and we’ll chat more about it.