Hello!
It’s been a while since I sat down to write to you. Having baby Stella at the end of December started a completely new phase of life, and a life-long duty, called motherhood. I have loved being with the little one and having a family has changed my life in so many good ways.
Baby is now on her long afternoon nap and the house is quite a mess. My mind reminded me there are tons of “better” things to do than sit down to write to you, which I have tried to finish I don’t know how many times.
Before her birth I planned to take a few months off from working with clients and enjoy this precious time and possibility to be with her, while writing and taking care of the other side of my business aside. I have this urge to create and contribute and I’m used to work a lot -- it’s simply part of my nature and I love what I do.
It’s been a challenge to combine these two desires.
The last months have been transformational: basically all areas of life have demanded adjustments and inner work, while going through a massive personal upgrade and identity change that motherhood often puts us through.
I’m lucky I had a chance to stay at home and take time to be with the baby, heal after the birth and take my time to adjust for the first couple of months. (It should be a birthright for the new moms and their babies.)
After things got a little steadier and I had more time, it started weighing on me why I didn’t take time for myself and do what’s important to me.
I had crafted a solid, easygoing plan on how to get started again. Baby is sleeping on schedule, so I pretty much know when and how much time I have. My husband is happy to be with the baby after work and on the weekends.
I ran out of excuses, so I stopped to see what was going on.
I was comparing myself to others… when I looked at other people with newborn children in social media I thought what’s wrong with me. They seemed to have everything in order and were living a picture-perfect life, there were no signs of greasy hair or old yoga pants.
Continuous distractions got me off track... When I got back to it this highly critical inner voice said what I’d created is not good enough, so I started writing something else and then ended up not finishing anything.
I waited for a better time... when this chaos and overwhelm would pass; baby getting through growth spurts; learning to eat from the bottle; when I have a babysitter and so forth…
I didn’t give myself permission to start until everything would be perfect.
I have a lot to share about this so called “mom guilt” that hit me, the need to be perfect, irreplaceable, micromanage and do something all the time, mainly to show myself that I'm a good enough mother, and not abandoning my child if I take some time for myself.
I realized there will always be something going on and life with kids is overwhelming and chaotic, but also fun and happy.
So I decided…
… to stop letting these learned ideals, patterns and my inner stories control me.
… to stop cleaning the house out of the “mom habit” when the baby sleeps.
… 15 minutes is a long time and I work when I can. When I can’t, I relax.
… it’s finally time to let go of perfectionism. I simply don’t have time for it anymore.
I gave myself a permission to do things I want to do and adjust it all to this new life.
If we are not trying and doing what calls us, we never know what’s possible.
If we let fear-based stories lead life or if we constantly compare ourselves to others it certainly destroys creativity and courage and we never dare to put ourselves out there.
It doesn’t matter at what stage of life you are or what you want to do. May it related to your career, relationships, your personal goals or big dreams. You got to start from somewhere.
Are you waiting until things are perfect? To get started, ask yourself:
What are your excuses or stories that you tell yourself?
Are you sure they are true?
If you took action now, how would it make you feel?
To make this blog happen I sought advice from my blog on how to boost productivity by using this brilliant method that helps you remove distractions and resistance, and get things done fast when time is limited. Read it here
Let me know in the comments below if this resonates.
Love, Jenni
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