How to energize yourelf when you feel drained

My 2-year old daughter had been waking multiple times per night for the last few nights. Actually even longer.

I’ve been okay with that; up during the nights and feeling energized during the days, until suddenly I was at my breaking point.

The lack of sleep starts eating us slowly and surely.

Already on Sunday, I needed to stay at home to take a nap when everyone else went to the beach. 

Yes, that was a severe FOMO moment, I hate anything or anyone over-controlling me, like even lack of sleep, and I felt sorry for myself that I couldn’t join my daughter and husband, as I really wanted to go. 

But… I needed to prioritize my well-being to get through the day.

It reminded me about my burnout and related insomnia from 12 years ago. My body still remembers well how awful that felt, and as I have said there’s no way I’m letting anything like that happen again. 

That’s why I love endlessly priest about healthy habits, how to maintain your energy, wellbeing from the inside out because all that is the source of everything and help others heal the roots for their issues, like I have done. 

It took a long time until I found the ways (worthiness) to make things easier for myself and find the shortcuts. 

Finding microwave potatoes from Spain is one of these shortcuts and helps to get dinner ready SO much faster (and they are better than the big muddy ones, tasting like new potatoes :)) I’m so proud of myself I’ve been able to let go of perfectionism in these little but remarkable ways! Allowing myself to make things as easy as I can is my mantra nowadays- with business and pleasure.  

So back to it… on Monday morning I woke up dead tired again. 

Lack of sleep makes anyone feel low, lacking energy, clarity, and creativity, and joy. 

The foggy brain, unclear thoughts, issues with the memory, never-ending sentences… yes, the tired brain disconnects us from our essence and brilliance. From the body and it’s hard to be present and our best selves when we are in survival mode. It’s easy to neglect healthy habits when you are just so tired and rather complain than do anything for it.  

Before I had a child I had no idea what kind of miracles working mothers were capable of. Now I know. 

You do amazing things! You should be so much prouder of yourself! You are creative, passionate, your mindset is better than many high-achievers, you get through anything!

After years of working with people and myself, I also know we CAN help ourselves feel energized and good even if it’s not possible for you to nap, sleep (or fall asleep) during the day because you work, and you have your passions.

When you feel good, good things can come, you get the results. Putting in the effort from the place of negative energy is a waste of time.

I also know many exhausted high-achieving women and mothers who tend to put in more effort, do one more thing, juggle even more balls in the air and escape their feelings, facing the reality and allowing themselves to get the rest of their need because they feel they will miss something out. But also because deep down they don’t feel enough and worthy to do that- they give a lot but don’t really know how to receive the same.

I was so tired on Monday morning I didn’t remember later in the day if I had even showered (I did).

What I did help me to start my day again so I forgot the morning totally, which was the turning point for me and I got myself energized for the work and the calls with my clients in the afternoon. I don’t like to cancel but as a coach, I need to show up as my best self. 

Before we can show up for anyone else, even for our kids, we have to show up for ourselves, and that’s the key here.  

Tips on how to raise your energy after a sleepless night or when you are feeling drained and you have to work and take care of your responsibilities:

1. If you wake up dead tired, don’t fuel yourself up with coffee but sleep more if you can. Just go back to bed and rest. 

2. Feel your feelings, lie in bed, and breathe to release all tension and negativity out. 

3. Journal about everything that’s going on. It’s okay to vent and struggle. Let it out.

4. Give yourself permission to have an off day. 

5. Focus on easy, simple tasks that don't require a lot from you.  

6. Minimize all events that are not obligatory on that day including work & personal life.

7. Say no to everything you can. 

8. Don’t make any big decisions. 

9. Ask for help, from your partner, a friend. Say that you are struggling. 

10. Order in, make a really simple dinner, or ask someone else to cook.

11. Think about the issues that cause the problem and ideas on how to fix the situation. Do you need to find information on something? Can you get help with that? Is there a boundary that you need to set for yourself or others? Change a habit if it’s somehow you who keeps you up? 

12. Go to bed early. Check your sleep habits, no screens, no substances, set those rules for yourself.

For those who are saying they don’t have time for this, you can make the time. Sit in the car for while by doing nothing, connect within, with your heart and your body. Being present, closing your eyes, and resting even you are not sleeping is helpful. You can scribble things down to any piece of paper.

If exhaustion or lack of sleep is starting to affect your performance and how you feel constantly, get help and figure out where is that coming from and change that.

When you have been operating on the high-striving mode it takes a while for your system to calm down. Repeat these little practices often, daily. Prioritize you and you will be rewarded, with results, happiness- wellbeing. You matter and your health matters.

What are the old ways that don't work for you anymore? What ways work for you?

Would love to hear from you!

Much love, Jenni

P.S. The doors to the Energetic Business Breakthrough are closing on May 7th! If you feel stuck with your business, habits, or career and have challenges in receiving your highest good, your goals and desires Sign up here

P.S.S. If you struggle with insomnia or stress, finding time, energy- balancing the work and life and it’s hard for making things work for you, I can help. You can get started by applying to book a complimentary Clarity call with me.

RELATED POST: 10 TIPS FOR BETTER SLEEP

Photo by Joshua Woroniecki on Unsplash

Setting boundaries is the key to preventing burnout and exhaustion

The voice in your head says: I don’t want this anymore.

But you don’t listen, even if it doesn’t feel good or right, but you continue putting other people’s needs or work ahead of your own needs, priorities or well-being. 

Adding more things to your never-ending to-do list feels exhaustion, and all those demands terrify you. 

The overwhelm starts to drive you. It feels easier to push aside the negative feelings and try to keep up day by day.

It can be easier to blame life’s busyness, other people’s demands, or the job we don’t like than face the difficulties and how you feel. 

If any of this feels familiar, you are not alone.

I know how all this feels. In the end, it is not about the others or busyness, though and there’s a solution to how you can turn things around and create balance.

10 years ago, I faced a massive burnout.

After separating from a 7-year relationship that felt like a divorce, I decided to put my all into my career. I also created a wild social life, trying to take back the years of the lost youth and years that I had stayed in an unhappy relationship.

It didn’t feel right then, but I didn’t know what else to do or where to go. 

I had no idea how to connect with my cacophonic mind and deal with grief, shame, and betrayal.

So I just tried to numb it, avoid it all, and keep myself going and giving and hoping one day I would be rewarded for all that...

Within a year, things were spiraling down fast. I didn’t know I needed help; maybe because I didn’t know who to turn to, who could help.

I felt isolated and lonely even when there were people around me. I pushed close people away. I was sick all the time and struggled with insomnia and restlessness.

I had heard my inner voice whispering all night that I was exhausted from working late in the evenings  - every minute of my day was scheduled. But I didn’t know another way to be; my life felt empty and meaningless when I did- so I couldn’t stop myself. 

I was so exhausted and afraid I would drop from the tightrope.

one morning, I tried to leave for work after coming back from a short work trip to Paris in the middle of the night.

I couldn’t leave but collapsed on the couch, and the tears I had waited for a year finally came.

I decided it was not the day to drop and put the mask on and left to work, even though I felt shaken by what had happened.

It opened my eyes, and I started making the changes, prioritizing myself and setting boundaries as I realized I was in the lead, and if I didn’t have my well-being, I had nothing.

It took a long time to find ways to heal and keep the balance, but I learned to recognize when my stress levels were getting too high, I couldn’t take it anymore. My nervous system felt sensitized and reactive.

Getting to know yourself, your mind, your habits and your patterns is the key to balance, success and well-being, and your boundaries.

As a  multi-passionate, creative entrepreneur and an empath and intuitive, my energies are often high, and I need a lot of grounding and isolation. I am number 7 in Enneagram, Manifesting Generator in Human Design, and I have been diagnosed with ADHD.

My highest values are changed, love, freedom, and integrity, which lead to everything I do.

I’ve been a people pleaser and struggled with over-giver syndrome and perfectionism all my life. I know all the women in my family have suffered from this; I was raised into unhealthy attachments and have dived deep into healing intergenerational patterns from the body and unconscious mind.

It’s incredibly empowering to heal and learn to choose oneself.

When we change the inner messaging and become aware of our thoughts, behaviors and feelings, we can make the needed changes.

It’s the self-awareness that I have consciously grown and the boundaries that help me react and respond immediately when I notice the signs: the feelings, thought patterns and behaviors that are red flags for me and trying to pull me back to the past, old habits. 

I’ve learned nothing else matters more than prioritizing my well-being and health and making time for daily self-care, tools and strategies that help to recharge and create balance on the go.

The other day I was working with a client, and she asked So, HOW do I set the boundaries?

Here’s how you start setting long-lasting boundaries:

• Start taking notes when you hear yourself saying, “I don’t want this”, “It’s too much”, and you continuously override your own will and desires and resist your well-being. 

• When someone or something repeatedly makes you feel bad, guilty, critical or judgemental - then it’s time to set a boundary and practice expressing them confidently.

• When you notice a pattern or behavior repeating in your life, instead of judging or criticizing yourself, sit down to work on it.

• Take notes and recognize the triggers. Ask how you want to change it.

• When a similar situation or feeling comes, slow down and take time to breathe and listen to yourself what would be right for you?

Knowing your boundaries means knowing when to say a brave yes or no.

You are the one you should please in the first place.  

Saying no actually leads to success. Having personal boundaries makes you feel good about yourself and standing in your power.

You have the power to stop the negative cycles and to heal the past wounds that have kept you repeating them. 

What kind of boundaries do you need? What kind of boundaries have been helpful for you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Love Jenni x

P.S. If you are ready to stop trying to find and keep the balance with work-life and are struggling with overwhelm and exhaustion, I can help. Book your free Clarity call here to get started.

What my burnout taught me

Last week, after DJ Avicii died, I watched the Netflix documentary about his last couple of years before he left the touring.  

It was sad to watch how he drove himself to exhaustion and how the look in his eyes changed from excitement to disconnection - like he was not there anymore. 

He couldn’t slow down to rest and heal, not even in the hospital where he sat on his bed working with his laptop all the time, bottles of coca-cola next two his bed and room filled with people, while he was talking with the team of doctors about serious health issues.

He tried to get some help and seemed to desperately get help while continuing touring and working 24/7 and only got deeper into the self-sabotaging cycle while his body was screaming all the warning signs.  

Alcohol, success, work, drugs, are great addictives taking the edge off the emotional and physical pain, numbing and blocking the way to understanding and allowing the healing to start.

Social media was blaming his manager who certainly focused only on making him more and more successful with any cost. But also Avicii himself, something inside him, drove and pushed him to achieve more and work harder. He couldn’t take any credits for his success and work.

He didn’t know what he really wanted to achieve and what would make him feel fulfilled. Nothing was enough, he was not enough.

Curse of publicity and overnight success? 

No, this is everyday life. 

Too many people struggle with the same disease and are driven by subconscious, unrecognized self-beliefs leading to extreme stress and exhaustion when they try to achieve and fulfill the never-ending external demands and requirements. 

His story touched me deeply because it brought up the vivid feelings about my own burnout.

I remember sitting on the beach and begging help from the universe, or anyone, so that I could feel calm, connected, and peaceful again. I couldn’t hear anything behind the cacophony in my mind.

Then the day came that I had been afraid of: After a one-day work trip to Paris, I dropped on the couch and couldn't get up. 

I had been scared, feeling so lonely, anxious, and panicky and I couldn’t sleep well anymore. I knew that I was dancing on the tightrope but this deep, dark fear had kept me going and escaping my reality and myself.

I had numbed myself with work, busyness, partying, alcohol, and smoking, and living the life that felt like somebody else’s life - it all felt meaningless. I felt so restless that I couldn't calm down to watch a movie, read, or be alone. 

On that day I understood I could either keep destroying myself - for nothing really - or take it seriously, get help, and help myself. 

It’s a dangerous - life-threatening - combination to feel extremely unworthy and believe that working more and harder and being better is the way to fulfillment, success, love, and acceptance.

When these inner drivers and false self-beliefs are on, there is no stop sign and we lose the control, and connection first with the feelings and then with the self - the most precious assets that we have.  

The first thing I did then was that I simplified my life and started changing my habits. I set clear boundaries and stopped putting everyone and everything else ahead my own needs and real desires. 

Sometimes it meant lying on the floor listening to jazz or sitting in complete silence starting out of window, which at first was scary and strange but as it felt right I did it.

I felt fragile and broken for quite a while, but I was able to save myself. It opened me up to a new level of sensitivity, which also meant I was not able to work as much as I did before - not a bad thing in the end! 

It was then when I found Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now opened my eyes to see things from a totally new perspective - it was a delicate but so powerful paradigm shift, and gave me the answers that I had been looking for a long time. The Art of Living in the Present Moment became the core of my life and a few years later my work.  

It was a blessing, like our challenges often are if we just learn to see them that way. I started the ten-year journey to spiritual and personal growth and healing. My drivers are now completely different and I'm on my mission to help everyone to become aware and understand that we all have the power, and a key to healing, happiness, and real success and well-being.

If you have have symptoms of burnout or if you are constantly exhausted, resentful and cynical about your future and your daily life - or if you are constantly sick or in pain - get help. It's not the way life should be and you can change it for better.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni