Strengthening your support system and relationships starts in you

As I time-traveled back to the past to meet the 16-year-old me in hypnosis, she felt insecure, lost, and alone.

Different from the others, like she was not belonging anywhere but desperately sought safety and acceptance externally that only made her overgive, trying to earn love, feeling she ever got anything back.

She was wondering how to be in the world, who to become, and how to make the right decisions that would secure the unknown future and make her happy for the rest of her life.

She felt she was alone to deal with it all.

She needed an empowering conversation, the guidance and support she never got then.

So we talked.

I helped her to understand and see what she was going through, why life felt so difficult and scary.

Why did she feel so sad that she needed to numb her emotions and ignore her needs and wants– affection, comfort, and safety had not been available.

I said life would be full of challenges in the future too… in one form or another but it was possible to learn to be happy and joyful every day and ride on the waves by shifting the obstacles to growth.

We had a good empowering conversation about feelings, self-respect, self-worth, women’s body, sex, and sacred sensuality...

How trusting the Self, the inner voice, and speaking her needs, feelings and opinions out loud and clear was important no matter how others responded.

I showed her how to learn to listen to her inner voice, body, intuition, and feelings– how she could support and help herself and fulfill those needs without trying to make others compensate for the parts that she had abandoned.

I guided her to use her inner wisdom bravely in any and every situation without hesitation because it is the truth of all the truth and it never leads us wrong.

She started to understand that her sensitivity, kindness, and compassion were the real strengths, not the weaknesses, and it was safe for her to be who she was and not try to make herself harder than she was.

We listed her greatness, her gifts, and abilities and helped her see that being confident, successful, smart, and talented meant she was reaching the fullest potential– and she didn’t have to be afraid of gossip, envy, or the threat of not belonging to the group– the abandonment she had experienced earlier.

She realized the ability to receive was as important as giving...  

That she could get love, success, abundance without overachieving and thinking everything should be earned a hard way.

We talked about how being a powerful and independent woman meant authenticity, self-acceptance, warmth, and compassion while recognizing what her superpowers and her real needs, wants, and desires are.

She realized how all that would keep her on the right track, and give her confidence, inner power, and clarity to thrive.

This self-healing journey was part of the subconscious inner healing and shadow integration work that helped me empower the new revised, confident version of myself last year.

Connecting with the parts that I had abandoned gave me the next-level vision and clarified the purpose and direction for the next successful steps.

all the relationships and support you need starts from within

Self-healing, self-love, and self-empowerment mean we have less criticism, less judgment, and less comparison and jealousy but more power, more resilience, and more feminine power collectively.

We don’t have to rise to the stages to make a difference. There’s much more work to make the world more equal and you and I can do a lot now.

We can support women, girls, and our daughters now: to help them feel more accepted, safe, and empowered– good as they are!

We can do that in everyday life by seeing others, listening to others, praising their efforts– showing the example of the good, encouraging and supporting women with the little things that matter a lot… trying to understand others and from where they come from…

…by checking in our own thought patterns, actions, and energy if it’s aligned with the change that we want to see in the world.

Are you with me?

Much love, Jenni

P.S. If you are ready for more, here are some options:

1. I help you swap out self-doubt and insecurities for confidence and certainty so you can unlock your full potential, resilience and purpose to create a more fulfilling life. Start by booking the Clarity strategy call with me

2. If you want a long-lasting confidence boost, and want to unblock and shift those old behaviors and insecurities for good, here’s a self-study confidence workshop, GROUNDED CONFIDENCE 

The Pea in the breast

A few months ago I finally got my OB-gyn check-up booked. I had been putting it off.

We had moved to a new country.

I didn’t have any problems.

We needed to get private health insurance.

Taking care of things in a foreign language (with Google translator) takes a lot of energy and effort. Even when you speak the same language the systems are different and you know all that paperwork is complicated and time-consuming, frustrating.

These were my excuses and the reason why I procrastinated with getting the insurance, pushing this, and my other health check-ups last on the list.

Then I got this feeling.

Sensing I would need to take care of the insurance for the whole family, someone could/would get sick.  I’ve learned to listen to my intuition and that it’s better to follow it than berate myself later.

When the doctor scanned my breasts I noticed a painful spot under the pressure. I mentioned it but she didn't hear me or ignored me but kept scanning and said everything was okay.

I felt so GOOD and proud really that I had taken care of myself and forgot about it.

A couple of weeks later on one Sunday evening, I remembered it again.

I found a pea size lump from my right breast.

It was not painful but I was sure it had not been there before.

A wave of emotions and fear went through my body.

My immediate thought; I can’t go through this now. I’d been afraid of something like this happening. I’ve seen close people fighting cancer and their lives.

I’ve been working with clients who are going through cancer or have recovered from cancers like breast cancer, so I was aware of the common emotional patterns related to it; breasts represent nurturing.

When there’s a problem with breasts it often is about over-nurturing others, external, and lacking the self-nurturing, abandoning one’s needs for a reason or another.

The brain influences the body. The stress is in the body, not in the mind.

The environment we live in influences our physical health, our psyche. The energy we are living in is contagious.

Our genes matter but in the end, it’s life and the mind that triggers the issues. Why someone who has the genetic vulnerability for a certain disease doesn’t get sick? Some diseases, like all holisims, are not physically passed on but still they “run in the family.”

The emotions, conditioning, the learned generational patterns –-> when the same that doesn’t do good for us goes on long enough, the mind-body, the nervous system reacts. 

I already knew painfully well that:

• I had not been nurturing myself well enough but put everyone and everything before myself, feeling I don’t get back what I give...

• I had not listened to myself but put myself under the pressure and situations that didn’t do good for me…

• I felt that I owed other people and tried to compensate it... it’s a lot to carry.

• I needed and wanted comfort and should give myself permission to face the reality and make courageous decisions and choose myself more often…

• I had to choose myself a lot more, stop taking responsibility for others that much, and trust everything would be fine without me trying to control what is not under my control…

About 1,5 years ago I started healing the co-dependent habits I suddenly figured I had. 

When I looked back to my past it made all sense to me; people-pleasing, love addiction, allergies, why I had got into this sunken place...

Along my healing journey, I faced lifelong victimhood, deep fear of abandonment and rejection (anger, resentment, smallness, and sadness it came with), and the root causes of why I felt so unsafe.

I wondered how I had lost myself?  I had to go way back and dive deep into healing my soul.

It happens slowly, nibbling us internally, our habits change as we are not aware of them. Or have a tendency to avoid reality. 

As an empath, helper and recovering perfectionist, and kind of a trained people-pleaser I had abandoned my boundaries, my truth, and who I was.

In difficult times I felt others needed me more and I can easily hold space for others, smooth their path, help them when they needed me.

So when I found the pea I first felt depressed... 

The inner work, coaching and healing I had been doing had worked miracles for me, so of course, I asked – why is this happening, what else I could do?

I felt empowered, I had good boundaries and I had a break through the blocks related to self-expression and visibility. 

I was on my quest of helping all the women in the world to heal what I had healed and had worked hard for making big changes, to have my next level of dreams and desires real.

I had all the fears running in my mind. I let myself feel it all, wrote in my journal.

I cried, I felt all that deep sadness and fears: How my daughter had to be living without her mother… How I thought I had a lot life ahead of me and purpose to fulfill…

Behind the feelings I found acceptance, strength, and peace… whatever it was, I’d deal with it. 

If cancer was supposed to be on my journey I’d do what I need and could.

On Monday morning I called a doctor who saw me the next day. 

Nothing to worry about, she said lightly. It was under the skin, seems like healthy tissue. 

She sent me home with the advice to come back in a couple of months if it was not gone.

I did but I took it seriously, as a sign. The body doesn’t lie.

I started nurturing myself more, praising myself more… giving that gentle loving inner care and attention I had craved.

I went back to practicing self-love consciously, soothing the child inside of me, and taught a masterclass to help others do so as well.

I focused on loving my body, my temple, for it’s intelligence, health, support and strength - I visualized it shrinking every day.

I continued deeply connecting with the best version of myself by healing more shadows that revealed the strong successful woman I still was and the absolutely new better version of HER: the one who feels safe to be powerful, successful and happy as herself.

So what was the meaning of this health scare?

Reminding me not to focus too much on others, not to wait for external changes, but to listen to MYSELF and do what I feel.

I sensed it could have been a lot worse without all the work I had done.

Like my body was releasing nearly over four decades of stress, fear, and tension and therefore developed a symptom. Sometimes we get a cold when we give ourselves permission to relax when the holiday starts.

I’ve seen this pattern with others as well.

Cancer is often related to resentment and anger that is eating the body from inside (Louise Hay).

It felt like this episode was a grande finale of this healing journey I have been through. 

It continues, in some ways every day, as it has already been for over a decade now.

A couple of weeks ago I got a feeling, an inner realization again.

It’s over, I am free.

I had risen into my power and revised the new identity, independence — giving the permission to be the one who I am and keep fulfilling my purpose, in a new way.  

I felt free in my body, free energetically and as I checked in again; the pea was gone. 

A moment to celebrate and a moment to remember.

Our obstacles often remind us what is important, and meaningful and what really matters — what we can be grateful for.

Have you been sacrificing or neglecting something that is important to you?

If you have been put off your healthcare, your needs and duties towards yourself, book those appointments, get help, get support and take care of yourself now– on a mental, emotional, physical, professional, and spiritual level. 

Your wellbeing is the foundation of everything else.

You first, then the others. From that place, you can give and receive healthily and be the best version of who you are.

Much love, Jenni